Sobering Thoughts: Fall and Redemption

Had a post already typed up about Lakeland, Todd Bentley, local pastor Jippy Doyle and my own personal struggles with sexual sin… but a freak accident wiped my entire post from the computer when I was about to save it!

But this is what remained on my screen – a quote from a Boundless article called Fight Club

  1. Know your sin
  2. Fight your sin
  3. Trust your Savior

So, while my heart was heavy on what has been happening in the Body of Christ, I think that the Holy Spirit used (or caused?) a computer glitch to show me how to get over the flesh.

Thank u Jesus.


7 years!

It’s not the same as the flurry about 08-08-08 that just passed, but still an important milestone for me! Today, August 18th, 2008, marks my 7 year anniversary to a wonderful woman – Lesanne!  She doesn’t read blogs or frequent the internet as much as I do, but I want the whole world to know how much I love her!

It’s not going to be a long post, as I’m at work and I still need time to get my poetic juices flowing (too much training will knock the poet’s muse from her rest!) but I just want to join Tam in declaring my undying love and devotion to my wife of 7 years today!

Are You a Threat?

Today’s devotional from Os Hillman’s email devotional Today God is First (TGIF) struck me in light of a prophetic word I had yesterday from one of my intercessors. In it, Os speaks of how it seemed as though his wife Angie was attacked in the spirit every time she went to travel on outreaches! This is the devotion:

Are You a Threat?
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
“But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries” (1 Cor 16:8-10).Angie and I entered the airport when suddenly she began to feel sick. “Honey, I don’t think I can go. I feel awful. I was fine driving down here,” she said. We stopped and prayed. She didn’t feel any better. She decided she would not go. Sadly we said goodbye to one another.About thirty minutes later I was sitting at the gate when Angie comes running up to me. “I am coming with you,” she said. “What happened?” I responded. “I asked the Lord if I was to go and He said ‘Yes.’ So, I am coming, despite the way I feel.”

We got onto the airplane and it was only a few minutes into the flight when she turned to me and said, “I feel fine now. I can’t believe how much better I feel.” Angie and I began to recognize a consistent pattern of this happening whenever we would go on our ministry trips. We have become increasingly aware of Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 6:12,13: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

How big of a threat are you to the kingdom of darkness? If you are pushing back the kingdom of darkness, then chances are you will have opposition in your life. The apostle Paul realized that as doors became open to him, so too were the adversaries in the spiritual realm to his activities.

Today, realize you are in a physical and spiritual battle and put on the armor of God.

Although I am in Barbados and my intercessor is in South Africa, God is everywhere! While we were talking over MSN, she started to sense a demonic presence – in fact, she felt it was trying to pass from my life over to hers! After we talked, she prayed for me and commanded these evil spirits out of my life. I sensed them leaving even before we prayed! They could not leave fast enough: I was yawning and my eyes were running (two common manifestations of spirits leaving after being cast out) while we were speaking in tongues in preparation for her deliverance prayer. Again I was struck by the power of connection, where the power of agreement defies hundreds of miles of distance to see someone set free from demonic oppression without being physically present.

Afterward, the Lord used her to prophesy into my life. Below is the text of what she told me under inspiration of the Spirit:

The Lord says that I am your spiritual detector …………makes sense?

He says that the devil may try with you – but your intercessor here over in South Africa has your back

You need not be concerned about the ministry – just go ahead with whatever you have to do – He will clear out the way for you

He has prepared the way for you – just walk strong knowing that He is with you

Don’t ever doubt that

I have blessed you many gifts and as you require them they will be handed out to you – like if you need the gift of healing then it would be so – the gift of prophecy and so on and so forth

Just trust in me – tune your ears to my voice – audible voice

i will speak to you directly says the Lord

and you will make no mistake that its me

don’t major on minor things

like this spiritual battle – the enemy is just trying to throw you off course

i have taken care of it – i’ve given you your [spiritual] sister …….haven’t I?

Stand strong my faithful servant……………It will be well!

Accountability and Public Confession

This post here at Clean Hands and Pure Hearts Ministries speaks to the power of personal, public confession.  It is a powerful post that speaks to the power of accountability.  Now, in my own life, I strive to keep myself accountable before God by volunteering information to my church and to my spiritual leaders – as well as to my intercessors.  It was interesting that even in a church where most of the congregation was in the 40-60 age group that the #3 most ‘popular’ things confessed were masturbation, pornography and sexual immorality.  It proves that a large cross-section of people at all stratas of Christianity stuggles with this.

What made me post this, though, was this comment:

Everyone is pretending.

Okay, not everyone. However I never would have guessed that this would have been the response that I would have gotten from that church. And I think it is a window into the state of the western church as a whole. And the greatest tragedy in not just that people that have been Christians for most of their lives are still dealing with elementary issues, but it’s the cause of it.


He goes on to add that people have been trained to put their best foot forward and pretend that they have it all together, but “they don’t know that everyone else is pretending too!” (my emphasis)  They are scared to be found out, scared to show their true selves…. I so agree.  It isn’t easy to confess to sin, especially to people who look up to you and hold you in high esteem.  It isn’t easy to do what the Bible says and confess to another, because so many are untrustworthy and do not do as the Scripture commands “…. and pray for one another, that you will be healed.”

He says it like this:

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! We are supposed to be the hospital where broken people come to be healed. NOT THE JUDGE AND JURY! The church is the very place where people should be running to be mended and nurtured and helped out of their pit. Instead, it has become the number one place where people fear to let their true selves be seen. We have to turn that around!

AND WE START BY BEING REAL OURSELVES! Don’t pretend to be perfect. If you’ve got issues be real about it. This will encourage and help others be the same. It will show them that they are not alone in their fight.

It is not easy for me to confess to my brothers and to my spiritual parents that I have fallen short and slipped up, but in the long run it is beneficial – not only for me, but for all those I myself minister to.  As a person involved in the prophetic and deliverance ministries, what I do in private does have an impact on my influence and effectiveness in ministry.

Heavenly Father, help me to continue to walk the pure line.  Thank you that I can be transparent, as I have found a group of people who will accept me and restore me without judgement.  Help me to help others be transparent as well, as I am already taken the advice in this post and strive to live a transparent life.


I just have to blog about the awesome connections I am having RIGHT NOW … because of my internet friends – and since the Lord has been nudging me about making connections with those who pray with and for me in my deliverance ministry more interactive, I have created a Facebook page and another area in my blog that is specific to my intercessors.  Within 10 minutes of creating these resources, I am in a 3 way MSN conversation between myself and two of my friends – one here in Barbados with me, and another in North Carolina!

It was so awesome! I was talking to Delia about exercise – she was mentioning that she wants to lose weight, and I was commenting that I find it hard to stick to it. She had just mentioned that she would pray for me, when another friend messaged me to ask for prayer because she is always unmotivated to exercise…

So now, we’re online right now chatting and getting to know one another…. speaking and praying and jelling together.   Isn’t God great?  I’m amazed at the speed at which things started to come together as I decided to follow the Lord’s leading and make the group more interactive!

God is just amazing.  In such a short time, I have made some deep, soul connections with people I have never seen face to face! Not only that, but I have cried for, prayed for and rejoiced with some of these same people as they have met challenges, and we have seen the awesome hand of God come through while we touched heaven together.  I am blessed to have been a part of the blogosphere! Long live the Internet!