Personal Devotions: Thoughts on Lazarus’ Resurrection

If you have been following my blog for a while you will know that resurrection is a theme of my life right now.  I’ve had some thoughts recently about Lazarus’ resurrection based on the fact that I’ve been personally getting extremely worn out with everything that’s happening on the personal front.  It was so bad that discerning readers would have realized a lull of several weeks here on the blog. (Sorry about that!)

I couldn’t bring myself to write, to concentrate, on anything…. everything slowed down – and I even found myself tired all the time. I mean ALL. THE. TIME.

Classic signs of depression?  Maybe.

This post itself was sitting in my Drafts folder since April 9th, and a couple more days and it will be May 9th, so…. yeah.

Anyway, as I have decided that I will post something today irregardless of how I feel, I pick up the resurrection theme as I focus, not so much on the resurrection itself, but on the wait. Jesus made Mary and Martha wait before he went to Lazarus’ side.

For me, right now, I feel exactly like Mary and Martha felt when Jesus got there:

John 11:21
“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

Everything around me seems to be dying.  My marriage is crumbling, I’ve felt rejected by my church family …. it’s like, what ISN’T going wrong?  I cry out to Jesus, trying to do the right thing and make things right, and …. I get more pain.  It’s like Jesus isn’t hearing me.  It’s like, he is waiting till I die before he comes to rescue me.  And I hate it.

Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick and deliberately stayed where he was two more days.

I feel so abandoned…..

But I have to remember the words of the Scripture passage – the words of Jesus (verse 4), “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

Is God deliberately waiting for things to get worse so that he could get the greater glory? I don’t know, but I am struggling to hold on to the fact that I know Jesus is good.  All the time. My circumstances aren’t good.  The consequences of my actions haven’t been good. But Jesus is good. Period.

I had a thought while I was struggling with feeling abandoned.  I thought to myself – if things aren’t dead, you can’t have a resurrection.  If there is a hint of life, then what happens is miraculous, but it is a healing, not a resurrection.  Doesn’t change how I feel. But I know that it is the truth.

So… here’s to death.  And to life.

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6 Responses

  1. Great thoughts…. I think Jesus may have had a smile almost as big as yours…. What is it that makes you smile?

    • THAT comment made me smile…. for sure…..

      Thanks for being my friend 🙂

  2. Great to see you blog again – a good step forward. Sounds like a wee bit of depression which isn’t surprising.
    And yes, you are so right – our God and Lord sometimes feels so far away and lets us go through very dark and deep valleys.
    But then, so did Jesus, didn’t he? Betrayed by his friends, forsaken… all for us. He knows exactly how you feel.
    I’ve been reading a book by Madame Guyon, an amazing lady. She was persecuted and imprisoned and betrayed for her faith, but she never gave up. She wrote leads of books, also worth reading. Do read her autobiography –
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Autobiography-Madame-Guyon-Jeanne/dp/1595479260/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273123923&sr=8-2
    And also about her on Wikipedia –
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madame_Guyon
    God doesn’t promise us an easy life, but He does promise never to leave us, whatever our feelings. Don’t trust them, trust Father.
    God bless you with wisdom and deep faith.
    Hugs, Jonie

    • Thank you so much, my friend…. I ♥ you….

  3. Robert,
    I’m saddened to hear the difficulties you are facing in life but I am comforted by the fact that you are a child of God and in that, you know that God only takes us as far as we can go to empty us of everything we don’t need so that He can fill us up and restore us back to a place far better than when we started. Also, it is through persecution that we can witness God’s goodness to others because of what we have in Christ and I pray that you will submit your all to Him for complete restoration and healing. I will be praying with and for you and I believe that the Lord will bless your seeking heart.
    Blessings,
    Vineet

  4. Jesus was two days late, but he was on time my brother.
    I am continuing to pray for you. Love you

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