Personal Devotions – Going Fishing (John 21)

This post was started on Sept 3rd, this year, but I have had it sitting in my blog’s draft folder because it’s a little (ok, a lot) too close to home for comfort. But I found myself reading John 21 again today, so I thought I’d try to finish it….

John 21

1-3After this, Jesus appeared again to the disciples, this time at the Tiberias Sea (the Sea of Galilee). This is how he did it: Simon Peter, Thomas (nicknamed “Twin”), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the brothers Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. Simon Peter announced, “I’m going fishing.”

3-4The rest of them replied, “We’re going with you.” (MSG)

The last time I read the Scriptures (about 2 days ago) I read the account of when Peter announced, “I’m going fishing” to the rest of the disciples after Jesus’ death.  He was going back to his old life – a sense of disappointment and failure dogging him.  He had denied the Lord – after he swore to stay with him to the end… and now Jesus had died. (The fact of the resurrection notwithstanding.)  I feel SO like him right at this moment…..

I’ve had a lot of things going on. A LOT.  I’ve gone quiet on the blog because I didn’t know how much to share. But just know that I’ve been constantly dogged with depression, thoughts of failure and of giving up – probably just like Peter here.

Honestly, I don’t think I can write much on this right now – I just know that Peter seemingly gave up after Christ’s death and went back to his old life – fishing – the life he knew.  Jesus found him and restored him by asking if he loved him.

All I know is…. I do love him.  I might have also turned away and felt disheartened after my own failings, but I do love him.

May I hear him calling me soon.  “Do you love me?”

Yes Lord, I do love you.

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9 Responses

  1. HE knows your hearts–that is all that matters, right–so no matter the struggle–your heart never turned away from HIM–he knows that–your heart knows you love HIM and your heart knows HE loves you

    • Thank you, darling. That means a lot….

  2. Just popping in with a big hug to encourage you.
    Valleys are horrible, but they don’t last for ever!!!
    You’re just getting your gear ready to climb those mountains :-)))

  3. I read this same passage a few months ago and had a somewhat similar thought. Mine was a little different though.

    It was like creating a question to fit the situation. And the question was, ‘what do you do when you have been with Jesus for years – when you are among the few who seen Him after His resurection – and yet He has still not told you what you are to do’?

    The answer! ‘You do what you have always done.’
    Peter was a fisherman. The Lord had not yet told him to go to Jerusalem and wait. But soon after He did.

    The Lord knows that until He tells us what to do, we simply just don’t know. We will do what we’ve always done. Really that is all we can do. It is tempting to think He will never tell us, but actually in His not telling us, He is in a way telling us to do what we’ve always done.

    It made sense to me. It is what I have done. Maybe it will make sense and be as helpful to you as it was to me.

    • Thank u Mike….

      I need to get back to doing what I’ve always done. What I’m doing at present isn’t the normal me, I know this. The ‘normal’ me is the one that pursues God that seeks after his heart…

      I’m in so much pain that I haven’t been doing that at all recently…

      But I pray that I find the strength to do it without feeling hypocritical …. to do it because it’s what was always done, and because it’s what should be done…

  4. I pray for you every day, and I’m asking God not only to lift your depression but to take away your discouragement which is so clear in your writing. Pray and LISTEN… that’s what has helped me most in the valleys. God bless you…

    • Thank you, Linda….. praying is hard right now. But I’m glad YOU’RE doing it…..

  5. Hello my dear brother in times like these when God is “silent” he is still working,and God’s love for you will never change no matter what we go through,there is “nothing” that can ever separate us from God’s love.O the lonely days of not knowing what to do,and not knowing if what you’re doing really matters, whewww!!! I’m sure it’s very discouraging,but do remember satan desires to take us away from our Father, but of course our Father is greater than he is.And even our failures are turned into beauty and a blessing to others.We go through in order to be able to comfort others with the same comfort God has given us.God has not forgotten you and at just the right time you’ll be back into the flow where God wants you to be.
    Love you much

    • Thank u so much, Pat…

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