Meeting with God


On Sunday I woke up after a long night out with my friends, intent on lazing around and doing laundry. I was starting my daily BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) chat with my best friend when I realized that I was feeling a nudging, an insistent poking in my spirit.

God was prodding me to go to church.

I resisted, because I have been running from him for a while, not wanting to face the painful past few years. I have holed away in my bedroom and not ventured into assembled worship for months because I have felt a lot of bitterness, pain and betrayal against both God and his people.

Anyway, today I was being prodded.

As anyone who knows me well knows, I may fuss and fight, quarrel and all-out bitch at God, but I ultimately do what he says. So, very unwillingly, I got ready to go. I wasn’t exactly sure which assembly I was to go to, but I was going. While driving, the particular assembly I was to go to was impressed on my heart, so I dutifully went, expecting that it would be on the verge of starting and I could slip into the back row. Oh. My bad. They start an hour later than I thought.

I sat in my car for the hour feeling the incredible urge to drive home; I had my best friend tell me over BBM – command me, really, “You are not moving from that spot!”

The assembly started their worship set, and as I started singing, I just felt the strong impression that I shouldn’t sing, but should just soak in the worship.  The power of the Lord hit me as the songs continued and I found myself on the floor, with the weighty glory of God pressing me to the carpet.  Normally I would just enjoy lying there in God’s presence, but recent bad experiences with people in church not understanding how my body reacts to His glory prompted me to try to get up and sit down – but really I felt like I was fighting through something like honey – sticky and hard to push through.

Anyway, I eventually got to sitting and when I was able to compose myself I thought it best to go outside – didn’t want any more attention drawn to myself.  (In contrast to what I have been accused of, I really don’t like being the centre of attention; I would rather NOT have everyone looking at me when I’m worshiping.  I don’t do anything for show!)  As I was going out, I stumbled as another wave of God’s presence hit me – and I found myself falling ….but this time I was caught by a couple of the men of the church who assisted me outside and started to pray for me.

They prayed until I had a mini-deliverance outside …. I felt something leave as I coughed and spit up, but I am not sure I can identify it.  They prayed until the pastor of the church was called – an old friend of mine from college, actually.

He prayed for me, and as he released the power of God over me I started shaking again. Then he started to prophesy to me.  In part, he told me that God was restoring the voice of the prophet to me, and that my prophetic mantle is my protection.  He said that the anointing on my life is strong, and is scary to some, but that God would validate my calling. (At those words I am sure I started to cry – the last couple years have been tough as I have not been ministering at all.)  It felt good to hear him say those words – I have not used the word ‘prophet’ in reference to myself for a long time now.  After the prayer time, we just talked.  I told him that what he said rang true in my spirit and my experience, and he prayed for wisdom for me.  He told me that my reactions to the presence of God are in part because I am holding back. (I agreed – I so don’t want to be a spectacle and be accused of ‘showing off’ that I try to rein in when God releases his presence… but it has the opposite effect: like when you take a bottle of Coca-Cola and shake it vigourously before opening it!)

So that was my first meeting with God after over a year in an assembly.

Since that time I have seen my prophetic voice pick back up again….  there have been prophetic words for friends over BlackBerry Messenger, interpretations of dreams, and prophetic encouragements – but those will have to be written in another post!

How have you met with God recently?

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