One Word 2011

In an earlier post I mentioned my friend Alece who shared her concept of focusing on one word as the guiding post for the entire year, rather than coming up with a laundry list of New Year’s resolutions.  Last year her word was RISK, mine was RESURRECTION.  This year, she chose to LOOK more to find Christ in even the mundane things, I have had a personally rough year and have chosen to move forward, gaining MOMENTUM along the way.

As I was perusing my Facebook page just now, I realized that this concept has been extended to Facebook!  Alece has created a One Word 2011 page at  http://www.facebook.com/pages/One-Word-2011/182416081777208?v=wall.

This concept seems to be taking off! It seems so much easier to focus on one word rather than a list of ‘do’s and don’ts’.  I can attest to the fact that ‘resurrection‘ has yet to manifest itself in my life in a full way – but you can’t resurrect something until it is dead.  In fact, I would say that there’s been a lot of death in my life recently – emotionally, relationally, even spiritually – but I would also say that that is the reason I chose my word for this year as MOMENTUM.  In order to get the resurrection I seek, I have to find a way forward; I may start with baby steps, but intend to pick up the pace as I continue.

So here’s my plug for this concept – Even as Alece exclaims “Holy Crap!” at the explosion around this concept – I’m doing my part to spread the word!

So come along! Focus on One Word tis year… and be revolutionized by God!

A Quest for Passion

I have blogged before about my problems and issues over the past couple months.  You can read about some what has been going on in a couple places:  here and here and here and here; you can also get a better picture of my emotional state currently by reading up on the resurrection theme in my life right now.  I thank all of you who have prayed and supported me in one way or another.

During the time that I have gone through my emotional trauma, I suddenly realized that I am not the ‘me’ I was when I started:  I used to write poetry profusely when I was a teenager,  I love jazz but hardly spent any time pursuing the pleasure of listening to it,  I never lost my liking for computers but stopped being a gamer – I never played video games and when I started playing any again I was reduced to the silly games on Facebook (can anyone say “Farmville”?)  I hardly used to go out and though I enjoyed my life to an extent I realized that I was missing the things that I liked to do for ME.

That’s a far cry from the guy who used to be a master of Super Street Fighter – my favourite character to play was Chun Li … when my neighbours liked Ken and Ryu 🙂  (I was sorry I never thought to taunt them when they got beat by a girl 😆 )

Well all that aside – it’s time to find my passions again.  The dictionary.com definition of “passion”  includes this definition:  “a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.”

During this time, I have decided to slowly pick myself up and do things that I haven’t done in years – or have ventured out in for the first time.  Certain things are coming back slowly – my passion for things electronic and gaming is creeping back (seems that took the hardest hit!)  and I’m more able to let my hair down and enjoy myself.

And I’ve started writing poetry again! It’s slow to come back again – that passion almost died along with the love of gaming. (Maybe they were in the same vehicle when it crashed? Anyone? Anyone? Ok, bad joke…)

I wrote one that I posted on here recently – if you’re interested head on over and read Luscious… An Ode.  It was written off the cuff and has a twist at the end.   Hope you enjoy it.

Are there any passions that you have lost that you think you need to get back to?

Related Articles

• Udon’s Street Fighter Gaiden Manga Series – preview (gonintendo.com)
• Ken And Chun-Li Versus Kazuya And Nina [Clips] (kotaku.com)
• Street Fighter Sneakers Keep It Classy [Sneakers] (kotaku.com)
• Hey Look, More Fancy Street Fighter Shirts! [Clothing] (kotaku.com)
• Halloween Costume Ideas: Adult Chun Li Costume [Daily Deal] (blippitt.com)

Personal Devotions – Am I Dead? (Luke 10:30-35)

This is a twist on the “I’m not dead” posts I usually write when I have not written on my blog for a while.

Whenever people ask me how I’m feeling recently, all I can manage with is, “I’m surviving.”  That’s the best I can do at the moment.   I wondered how I could articulate how I was feeling, but I had a personal revelation: I am still working through my lack of passion – I’ve not done the things I have been passionate about for so long I’ve forgotten what they are….

I had a conversation with a friend on Facebook the other night, and he was trying to encourage me to fight the devil off and seek God and pray.  I didn’t want to be rude; I told him that I felt like the guy who got beat up and left for dead in the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-35)

³⁰In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. ³²So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.³³But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. ³⁴He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him.³⁵The next day he took out two silver coins^[a] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

I feel as though I’ve been emotionally beaten up and left for dead. I told my friend when he said that I’m “weak” and need to cry to God for strength, “I’m not weak. I’ve gone past weak.  When I was weak I felt like I lost almost everyone – and I’m not weak anymore. I’m destroyed.”  Now I know  that that’s harsh – but it seems like where I am.

In fact, I came to a realization just today – I guess I’m in the perfect place for God’s resurrection that he has been talking to me about since last December, because I have no fight left in me whatsoever.

In the above story, the man who was beaten up, in my opinion, would have had to have been unconscious.  He looked like a dead man.  That’s what made the other two skirt him.  If I remember correctly, the holy could not touch the dead – this would make them unclean.

I’ve felt that way myself – yes, there have been those who have been around, and I thank God for them – but the ones who separated cut deeper than the sharpest knife ever could.  My friend actually said that he felt partially responsible for my current emotional state, because he felt like he did leave me.  WOW.  I actually had to say that seemed like the first time someone actually admitted to abandoning me.

Now I agree, I did do my own separations. I will not stand and give an, “Oh poor me, everyone’s against me!” speech – at least, not without being fair and admitting my own part to play in it.  I have pulled away from those who I thought were helping me.  I did feel a sense of betrayal and loss, and I decided to close myself off.  Even when I tried to open myself up again I felt let down and pushed away, so I stayed away.

It took ages and ages to start getting away from my bitterness and resentment – and when I started to get over that … let’s just say I still have trust issues, as I expect others have of me.  So yeah, there are reactionary decisions on both sides.

But thank God Jesus hasn’t abandoned me. I may not feel it or want to acknowledge it right now, but he hasn’t.  I know that he’s the ultimate good Samaritan here, and I know that he’s sent others around me.  I’m doing what I can do – and waiting, like the unconscious man in the parable, to be picked up and taken care of.  I am waiting for the resurrection God promised me.

So, if you read this, and you want to help me – please don’t do it by telling me what I should be doing or what I am not doing because I’m just lying here.  My ribs are broken, it hurts to breathe and I’m sure I have other broken bones as well.  I can’t stand.  Come over and offer a hand, some oil and some wine (I like rich wine, not too dry, please.) *wink*  Seriously though – don’t judge me; just pray that the resurrection time comes quickly, and go according to what God says to you.

Happy Birthday To ME!!!

This is a shameless post (singing)… it’s my birthday and I can post if I want to, post if I want to… you would post too if it happened to you..  (Ok, I have NO idea where that came from!)

Just a short post today…  Now I accept well wishes, gift cards, cars, houses, land, credit cards, frequent flier miles as birthday presents!  Be creative!

Love you guys!